Tag Archives: happiness

New Beginnings

Spring is just around the corner and is a time of new beginnings, a time for a spring clean,  declutter,  letting go of stuff that has held us back or cluttered our minds to make room for new ideas and new things to enter our lives.  It’s also a  great excuse to rule a line under that part of our lives and to move forward as we mean to go on.

Time to make sure we make the most of every minute, enjoy the people in our lives,  make happy memories and to  choose happiness whatever the situation because we have free will and even if we can’t change something we can change the way we react to it.

Rishika Jains’Inspiration from facebook says “Most of the things that we desire in life are expensive…… But truth is that the things that really satisfy us are absolutely free…………….”

So true and the sad thing is we don’t have time to experience those things that really satisfy us and are free cos we’re too busy making money for the things that we think we want or think we need.

Finally another story posted on facebook, I’m afraid I don’t know where it originated but it has been shared in many places. 

Married or not you should read this…

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t …know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.  Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.

What is Spirituality?

My definition of Spirituality is finding my own answers for inner content and happiness by self discovery.

For me it does not involve a particular religion,  I respect every religions points of view but for me i have never found a religion that sits totally comfortable for me, every religion has parts that I 100% agree with but also other parts which I disagree with. I do believe there is a God , a Creator, a Universal energy but I also believe that God or the Creator wants us each to be happy and content and does not need to lay down rules to “rule” us by.  The “God” I believe in would not turn his back on anyone who didn’t believe or who didn’t pray or attend church or who has fallen off the wagon, been misled or who has strayed from the path of goodness.

I believe its about finding your own individual path and purpose in life. It involves continual personal development, contemplation, meditation and prayer. All of these have led me to a connectiveness with a larger reality and is a continuous process. It has led me to have a feeling of deep inner calm and a deeper understanding of many things (including relationships, nature, and people in general amongst other things)  which is hopefully making me a better and more understanding and compassionate person.

Its about values, practices and attitudes, for me its about a whole approach to my life, looking after and feeding my body, my mind and my spirit/soul and into this equation comes using natural products and protecting and building our immune systems against the many chemicals which are in everyday products and foods. Its about making our minds stronger and healthier and having a mindset that evokes Love and compassion and understanding rather than negative emotions such as jealousy, anger and making war. Its also about looking at our lifestyle and making sure we have time for contemplation, to get to know and understand our inner being, to learn about our Ego which rules most of our lives and jumps in and makes us respond to situations that afterwards we look back and regret.

My journey so far has been learning new things and also rediscovering things that once rediscovered I realise that I did already know that but had somehow forgotten. Many people call this “an Awakening”.  Once that inner being starts to awaken wonderful things start to happen.  Perhaps meaningful coincidences start happening or as I believe synchronicities,  life takes on a new and fulfilling meaning.  I personally have found its an ongoing journey and the further you travel down the path the more opportunities present themselves and I find this very exciting.

Its not all plain sailing, in fact sometimes it can be quite challenging but each step opens us up a bit more and as exciting or challenging it may get I still have that deep inner calm of knowing that its part of my journey.