Tag Archives: feelings

Being Happy with you what you have.

“The Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”

We can relate this proverb to all areas of our lives, it basically means that other circumstances always appear better or more desirable than our own but more times than not in reality they aren’t.

I personally think more and more people are thinking this because life has changed so much over the last 60 years or so, gone are the expectations that you would marry someone from your local town, that you would work locally and you would probably be there until you died. With the internet it has opened up so many options, people have vehicles so can look further afield for work with better pay, they can meet lots of new people who they wouldn’t have met otherwise and so on.

We have far more choices now which of course is great but as with everything there is also a downside. More people aren’t happy with what they have, where they are or how much they are earning and become restless and don’t live in the present moment fully as they are always looking to the next better thing.

The grass always seem greener because its grass that we don’t have and we seem to think that  that what we don’t have is more appealing. My suggestion is by all means have goals and work towards them consistently because they are important BUT don’t focus on them because you don’t have them now, be present in the moment, whatever it is you are doing, whether its washing up for instance, feel the warmth of the water, the smell of the washing up liquid, the squeakiness of a clean plate and so on.

I have goals and dreams and I am taking action on a daily basis to move towards those goals but I don’t focus on the lack of not having them now, I have found that by living in the present and seeing what is happening around me right now has given me an inner sense of peace and by clearing my mind regularly and stopping the chatter in my mind to be still by meditation it helps bring me back to the present. When we stop for just a minute and really look around us you see so many beautiful things and “miracles” which we miss when we are busy concentrating on moving forward and moving on to the next job on our long list of things to achieve. Happiness is a state of mind and isn’t found from material possessions, in fact i am finding that material things do actually weigh me down sometimes and make me unhappy. What a turnaround!!

My happiness comes from an inner peace and watching the little things happening around me and its refreshing that i don’t have to rely on buying something to make me happy which then disappoints because actually that happiness is short lived and is always replaced by something else. Now i just need to “be quiet” to find that inner peace and happiness and enjoy what i have, where i am while i travel on the journey of life towards my goals.

Use your senses when appropriate when you are doing anything, see, hear, feel, taste, touch even if its a task that you don’t enjoy and you will feel better about it, when was the last time you went for a walk and looked around you, listened to the sounds for example or doing the washing up and feeling the bubbles and water on your hands, the gentle smell of the washing up liquid and so on?

I find this Book very helpful when I wanted to read more about living in the present moment.

 

Acknowledge your feelings

 

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I’ve recently learnt a valuable lesson when anxiety forced to me to stop and re-evaluate my life. I had got into a rut and blinkers on in many areas of my life and now after taking time to analyse along with relaxing for a while I have a whole new perceptive and a deeper sense of calm and peace.

The last 10 months have been tough trying to find my way after being given a wake up call with my health which stopped me in my tracks.

It’s made me realise exactly what is important in my life and what isn’t. It’s also made me question a lot of things and has left me at times wondering what it’s all about on occasions and the more I see properly what’s happening around us and across the World the more I feel I don’t fit in which is quite unsettling.  We can’t carry on as we are abusing each other and the Planet.
Maybe we each have to create our own heaven on earth and find those with the same values?

Having had a close family member suffer depression and anxiety for many years I thought I had at least a general understanding of what people go through but I have now learnt that unless you have been through it yourself you really cannot have a clue. I’ve always classed myself as a positive, half glass full type of girl and thought anxiety wouldn’t ever affect me but that all changed a few months ago.

Its been a tough few years for us with us both dealing with cancer diagnoses and subsequent surgery and treatment and also losing a relative to the disease and seeing his decline all have had an impact and resulted in me absorbing myself in my work from home business and pushing myself incredibly hard whilst also dealing with all the usual everyday concerns of car problems and worries of family life as well as what’s happening in the World  which ultimately all built up and had to escape and panic attacks and anxiety were the result.

I became very good at shutting out any negative thoughts.  What I should have done is  acknowledged them and then let them go.

Panic attacks appeared resulting in feeling you can’t breathe, tight chest  and a general feeling of doom, especially every time I logged onto the PC, this forced me to step back and take a look at my life.  It was tough waking every morning and over breathing kicked straight in so I was spending the whole day struggling not to have a panic attack, I was so glad when bedtime arrived.
Someone suggested some adult colouring which I really enjoy now and I’m learning to crochet too and allows me to focus on something while also relaxing, walks out in the Countryside also really helped.

Learning to live in the moment and being mindful rather than mind full has also had a positive impact.  Learning that its OK not to be strong all the time and that that having a bad day is acceptable.

I have learnt a lot about myself over the last year, I’m still taking things slowly,  still learning more about myself on a daily basis and have good and not so good days.

We must listen to the small warning signs our bodies give us which we all too often overlook or reach for the pills so we can carry on or it will manifest eventually in something that brings you to a halt.  Being strong for others is also very noble but you can’t just push aside and overlook your own emotional needs as I have found out.

The journey continues.